You will no doubt agree that there are people around you who make life miserable.
They may even dominate or control you.
As you rub elbows daily with such folks at home and in the streets, you are constantly deciding on how to act properly towards them.
These minute decisions are being made by almost everyone.
We don’t want to “mess up” with difficult people and so we are always wary of our actions.
Troublesome people lurk everywhere. They are not really criminals, but they give others “a pain in the neck.”
They are the ones whom we might call the difficult people.
And most of us deal with them everyday – without knowing who they are, why they are so, and how to deal with them.
Answers to these questions equip us in dealing with them, and even in helping them.
You opted for this book because you don’t want to be counted among the difficult people, and you want to help them in some way.
If we all become true to these desires, we can make a lot of people happy, difficult or otherwise.
We can start to spread the spirit of happiness around us and help make this world a better place, even in a limited sense.
Conflicts throughout history, whether small or large scale, local or global, were attributed to difficult people who went out of bounds and affected the rest of humanity.

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Chapter 1

The Mechanics of Being Difficult

They are out there.

They may either be your boss, college professor, business partner, landlord, or even your own spouse, children, siblings or parents.
Anyone can be a difficult person to someone else.
You may not admit it – but at one time or another, all of us have been difficult people to other people.
Who knows, you may be seeking a remedy for difficult individuals you know without being aware that you’re a difficult person yourself.
It is vital to see if you are in a situation with a difficult person or if you yourself are beginning to be one.
The first solution to any problem is recognizing the problem.

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There was a man deep in a forest, who, one very dark, moonless night, lost his footing, stumbled and fell. When he hit the ground he found himself on an incline and began to roll.
As he rolled downhill, over stones and bush, he was all the time picking up speed.
At the last moment the earth disappeared below him and his roll turned into a fall. He started grasping for anything he could grab.
Suddenly he bounced off of some kind of tree or shrub and he grabbed wildly, snagged a tree limb, and hung on for dear life.
His fall was stopped, but he felt himself hanging in a dark void, feeling certain that if he let go he would certainly die as he crashed onto a rocky bottom he imagined thousands of feet below.

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When the sun came up, he found the ground below him was a mere foot away from his feet.
Had he known his real situation, he wouldn’t have had to dangle there all night.
Most difficult people do not realize they are difficult.
They don’t see that they are demanding too much from other people.
They think their attitude is just normal.
Likewise, some of their victims may not see that they are dealing with difficult people.
The earlier the problem is detected, the smoother the sailing will be.
Smooth sailing, but you’re still at sea.
It’s vital that at this early point, we grasp the fact that avoiding difficult people does not solve the problem in question.
As earlier mentioned, these people are everywhere.

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There is no privacy they cannot invade. You might as well leave the planet and settle on Mars to get rid of them totally. But that will only mean you’re going to start a new race of difficult people there.
If you like the sea, you have to get used to its moods.
The key is not to stay out of it but to learn to sail smoothly through thick and thin.
Likewise, it is learning how to deal with a difficult person that gives you smooth sailing amid a storm. Once you master this, difficult people will start liking you, and your new problem will be “how not to be liked too much” by difficult people.
There is great reward in taming a difficult person. Remember The Little Prince?



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